Allllll right. Phwah. How's life? Uh... Brain overload. So many things going on... School is about to start. Thats one of them. I've got my backpack, school stuff... ARG. Starting a new school is always so frightening. mostly I'm worried about where to go. This school is REALLY big. And the schedule changes every day. I'm sure I'll be able to find every thing though. :P
And the circus is this weekend. Who's going? Yes mom, I know you're going. BESIDES my mom. I think it's the Greatest Show on Earth. Pretty awesome.
This isn't the question, but I was just wondering if anyone has any trouble with... people understanding you? Being able to express yourself? Because I can't do it. I'll lock up. I don't want other people to worry, or I might hurt someone... Or some one is being a jerk. You might want to do this. NO I'm right no matter what. I just want to walk up and stuff my fist in their face. But I can't. Because I know THAT is wrong. I just can't seem to make them see with my words. And I know force doesn't work any way. It's so frustrating. -_- Screaming in their face isn't the way. I wish I could do that sometimes.
Also, I'm wondering if I have trouble controlling my feelings. I pour my guts into my journal. That doesn't do it though. And then I'm back to that needing to talk to someone. BUT I CAN'T DO THAT. As stated above. My chest feels locked up sometimes. Like my breath gets caught in it. Sometimes I feel so full of rage, or anger, and I want to roar at the top of my lungs, or so sad I could sob all night. I used to not think about what I was feeling. I would just be happy. But then what happens when you do think about all of it? BOOM. Emotional overload. And I've tried to just get over it. It comes back though.
So I was just wondering if anyone else that reads this understands or has felt like this before.
As for the question, has you thought about how life seems to go up and down? Like things will be going good, and all of a sudden, BAM. Some kind of crap just ruins that feeling of happiness. It could be tiny or something big like someone dieing, but then it'll fade away and then you'll feel happy again. It takes as long as it does. Long, short, for the happy and bad feelings. Or does life go in a whole bunch of directions? Left, right, forward, back, up, down. Something to think about.
I do feel like it's easier a lot of the time to express myself through words and writing things down, I can't really talk to people...
ReplyDeleteAnd as for the ups and downs of life, we've all been there. I think it's just the natural way life is supposed to be. It's always going to be like that, and I suppose there's nothing we can do about it except try to make the most of it.
(sorry this is a long comment :P )
Life does go up and down. Good things are ups, bad is down. Left is if you let the bad things hold you back, and right is if you move forward with what has happened. Think of a bar of music..and how the noted progress or get lower and higher, or...a numberline!
Hope this helps. :)
Just remember son, there's always drugs and alcohol. They're awesome and make all those silly feelings just fade away....uh...wait..OK maybe that isn't good advice...let me try again. Sometimes a good punch in the face is EXACTLY what someone needs and you're not feeling anything that everyone else doesn't feel. We all went through this as a teenager and still struggle with the same emotions today. Just remember, you can always pay a hooker to love you...uh...bad advice again??
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad my dad is always there to point me in the right direction...
ReplyDelete